How working with a celebrant works, step by step
18 July 2026
From the first free chat to the day itself — exactly what happens when you work with a celebrant, what it costs, how ceremonies are written, and how far ahead to book.
One of the most common things people say to me is, "I love the idea of a personal ceremony — but I have no idea how it actually works." That is completely normal. Here is exactly what happens, from your very first message to the day itself, so there are no surprises and no mystery.
Step 1 — A friendly first chat (free)
It all begins with a conversation. A phone call, a video chat, or a cup of tea if you are nearby. There is no charge and no obligation whatsoever. We talk about your day — what you are imagining, roughly when and where — and I check I am free on your date. Just as importantly, it is your chance to get a feel for me and decide whether I am the right person to help. If I am not the right fit, I will happily point you towards someone who is.
Step 2 — Booking your date
If you are happy to go ahead, I take the details and reserve your date so it is safely yours. Every ceremony is different, so I put together a bespoke quote based on the kind of ceremony, the travel involved and how much is included — rather than a one-size-fits-all price. I will always be clear and upfront about costs before you commit to anything.
Step 3 — We get to know each other
This is where the magic starts. We meet properly — usually somewhere relaxed — and simply talk. For a wedding I will ask how you met, the moments that shaped you, the people who matter, and the tone you are after. For a naming, we talk about your hopes for your child and who you would like to involve. For a funeral, I will listen gently as you and your family share memories, stories and the little details that made the person who they were.
You do not need to arrive with anything prepared. My job is to draw the story out — all you have to do is talk.
Step 4 — I write your ceremony
Using everything you have shared, I go away and write a first draft that is completely your own — never pulled from a template. This is the part I love most: shaping your words, your story and your moments into something that flows and feels right when it is read aloud.
Step 5 — Drafts and refining
You read the draft and we shape it together. Want more warmth here, less there, a joke added, a name changed, a reading swapped? We keep refining until every word feels like yours. You will always see the full, final script well before the day, so you know exactly what is coming — there are never any surprises.
Step 6 — A rehearsal, if you would like one
For weddings especially, some couples like a short run-through so everyone — you, your witnesses, anyone with a part to play — knows where to stand and what happens when. It takes the last few nerves away. Others prefer to keep it spontaneous. Either is absolutely fine.
Step 7 — The day itself
On the day, I arrive early, calm and fully prepared. I hold the space and guide everyone through it warmly and clearly, so you do not have to think about logistics for a single moment. All you need to do is be present and enjoy the ceremony you have created together. For weddings, I also make sure the legal paperwork is handled properly and discreetly.
Step 8 — Afterwards
Once it is all over, the words are yours to keep — a lovely keepsake of the day. Many couples and families frame a copy or read it again on anniversaries.
How far ahead should you book?
The honest answer: as soon as you know your date, especially for weddings in the summer months, which get booked up well over a year in advance. That said, never assume it is too late — I have created beautiful ceremonies at surprisingly short notice, and funerals of course are always arranged quickly and with great care. If your date is close, just ask.
Let's take the first step
That is the whole journey — and it starts with nothing more than a friendly, no-pressure chat. Whenever you are ready, get in touch and tell me a little about your day. I would be honoured to help.